I know

I know what has happened to me and for the most part I understand how to work through the feelings I have about what she has done. I go over and over the statements and events of my 35 years and amazingly I continue to remember more and more of the things i should have got a clue from. 

I realize im not the Fuck up that i have always been made to believe i was. Everytime I did anything good or got somewhere in my life, it would get taken or I would somehow, lose it. I would tell the truth about how it happened and people told me I needed to take responsibility for my part in the destruction. I never understood how not “acting” could put me at fault, but it really never was me at all, i have found out. I have been a victim of a narcisstic mother.